The psychology of the first date: how to tell if she fits you?

On the one hand, a first date fills us with a joyous feeling of great opportunities. On the other, it causes certain concerns. Many of us can remember a date with a person who made a good impression first, but after a while, it turned out that it was deceptive. Psychologists distinguish several signs, by which we can better understand how sincere and ready for a relationship the person is.

Deceptive humor

We tend to fall under the charm of people with a good sense of humor. Jokes make us more relaxed, and the laughter creates a feeling of unity. Preparing for a blind date, many women are often afraid to meet a person who is inadequate or even dangerous. Therefore, they consider humor as an indicator of intellect and especially appreciate self-irony, which is usually typical only for mentally healthy people. However, an abundance of jokes is a sign of insecurity of people who find it difficult to build close relationships. And they use their wits to create the illusion of trust. Your companion’s sense of humor shouldn’t distract you from her. A confident person, who is ready for relationships, won’t joke too much on the first date.

Set the boundaries

Of course, a date with a partner (which you can easily find on, who doesn’t talk much isn’t a pleasant experience. At the same time, excessive frankness at the very beginning of a relationship can be an alarming sign. Unconfident people tend to share all the details of their lives on the first date. Usually, we take such behavior for openness and honesty, which is wrong. People who act like this are focused on themselves and their needs, and your world isn’t interesting to them at all.

Do opposites attract?

The same traits that attracted us to a person may start to irritate us at some point. There are two types of communication: extrovert and introvert. And if one person is inclined to openly show all her feelings and emotions, the other one needs more time to do this. Introverts usually speak more quietly, in contrast to expressive extroverts. At the very beginning of the relationship between the two opposite characters, this contrast contributes to the development of the relationship, but in the future, such a difference between personalities can push people away from each other.

Women usually have nothing against not talkative men. They even consider them good and attentive listeners, which, in turn, is associated with female kindness and reliability. Such men can also be attracted to talkative women. They take it for openness and sincerity. However, in the long run, men break up with such women, especially if female expansiveness is combined with a critical attitude. At the same time, the difference of characters isn’t the main reason why people break up. Relationships also fail due to reasons that hide deeper. Two people simply don’t want to put up with the differences between them. In fact, this happens because of the inability to cope with their own problems.

Factor of truth

About 81% of people who meet online tend to exaggerate their value. They lie about their age, height, weight, and financial capabilities, not to mention photoshopped profile images. The more attractive the potential romantic partner seems, the more willingly both men and women embellish some facts from their lives. Statistically, it looks like this: 46% of men and 35% of women admit that they lied to their potential partners to attract them.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you will certainly meet a person who lies, but if you met online, you should take this possibility into account. But it’s not only fear of rejection that makes people distort information about themselves. Some people believe that they’re not worthy and don’t know what impression they make on others.

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